The Monkey War has begun

We found a poop in our living room a few weeks ago. Yes, a poop.

It was quite mysterious, as I’ve never had a poop just “appear” in any former residence. This was definitely a new occurrence to add to my list of life accomplishments. After a thorough search and some thinking within in the “African” perspective, Phil quickly deduced that it was from a Sykes monkey that apparently lives in a tree next to our house. We found greasy little finger prints on the open window and most tellingly (aside from the small animal poop on our floor)…our bananas were gone.

Oh how I laughed!!! Cute that a little monkey came in and stole bananas.

The cuteness ended today.

This morning, as I was enjoying a replay of American Idol on this great Good Friday, I heard a loud noise on the window. LUCKILY the window just above my head was closed. I wasn’t sure what it was, but saw nothing, and went towards the kitchen to get some water – chalking it up to wind or a cat or a limb falling. On the way, out of my peripheral view, I saw a small creature in the bathroom.

My heart stopped as I doubled back, fueled by curiosity, fear, and not knowing what to expect. And there, sitting in the window, half-in, half-out was the banana-stealing monkey. He looked at me. I looked at him. Neither one really knowing what to do.

I yelled GET OUT! He blinked. I yelled HEY! He blinked. I banged on the wall. He blinked. I got bold and rushed toward him, yelling and banging on the wall. He left. I promptly closed the window and watched him jump to the washing line.

I rushed back into the TV room, ready to protect that room as well and he’s still on the laundry line, but sneaking towards the TV room. I grab the closest thing I could find and most logical weapon – a spray can of insect killer. Awkwardly and terrifyingly reaching out the window (waiting for him to place a bite laced with eboli-dengue-dirty-mouth-nastiness on my wrist), I give him the best spray possible.

Pshhhhhhhtt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He moved back about two feet, and then began inching closer again. So since the spray can obviously didn’t scare, I reach for the next most logical, clearly menacing weapon at my disposal…a candle. Another great weapon when fighting monkeys right? Although I missed due to the awkward Kenyan windows, it did send him scampering into the tree – his home.

Ahhh…fun and exciting, a little scary since he was so bold and I’m sure wanted to bite me, but a good story. I settle back in to the sweet sounds of amateur singers.

Another noise on the roof – except now on the other side of the house. I look from my seat and see a little grimey paw/claw appear and disappear, moving down the gutter, headed for the open front door.

I run, literally, and slam the front door closed. Again yelling as I go. There’s a commotion on the roof and we resume our positions. He’s on the laundry line, I’m in the TV room with the bug spray (the candle is out in the yard). We are staring each other down, neither one ready to give up. So I give it another go and seem to successfully scare him. I close all the windows, except the one that’s barely open in the kitchen and safely settle back on the couch.

You guessed it. A few minutes later I hear some noises from the kitchen. I run yelling (it’s only about 15 feet away) and arrive to find him slipping out the window…with a nice big papaya in his hands. He calmly walks under the laundry line to its post at the end, jumps onto and then jumps into his tree. With me yelling all the while.

Monkey:1
Emmakate: 0

I’m sure this isn’t the last I’ll hear from him. Every few days the lamp in our bedroom finds it way t o floor when no one is home. I’m sure he’s done a tour of our bedroom and I will have serious issues if I ever wake up staring into his beady little eyes or if I ever find a poop on my pillow. I just reported the story to Phil and he says the monkey is bullying me because I'm a woman....news that takes this war to a whole new level!!!

And on a side note, I'm covered in mosquito bites because I feel asleep on the couch last night without the safety of the mosquito net.

The real africa... Monkeys and Mosquitos! ~ EKY V.